Reckless Abandon

it is almost that time again, when the last leaf is about to fall

at the last gasp of the wind of change, once again, i'll be on my own.

i will be staring at the lonesome moon, begging for the healing rain

for my soul is like the barren land, adorned with scars from all the pain

maybe it is time for the obscured tears to quench this parched soul of mine

for i fear that this would not be mended even by the passing time.

i am afraid that my frail and forgotten heart will never beat again.

for in this world, no value is given to someone who is mundane.

i now question the former decision to leave the place i called home

the chrysalis shrouded in darkness and filled with deafening silence

for inside that shell that to others seemed like a dismal cold prison

is a sanctuary, a haven for a childish man wrought in sorrow

in isolation i found safety, in aloofness my sanctuary

i was free to be myself behind the masks of anonymity

but this is not my realm, and now i must face the harsh reality.

now i am standing. trembling at the thought of what's to happen

for in this apathetic world, what is the value of my existence

i think this is the right time for this phoenix to take his final flight

for the last time take to heavens and brighten this dark starless night.

this adamant shell of mine will be cast to the conflagrating pyre

and no amount of your tears could inundate my sacrificial fire.

from the ashes will rise an empty vessel devoid of emotions

where i will hide myself for no longer would i heed this world's summons

CORBY ^__^

CORBY

* this is not the normal genre i dabble with.
*written @ boston cafe

minsan sa mundo kong madilim may dumamping liwanag.
binigyang pag-asa ang taong malapit nang mabuwag.
sa matagal na panahon, noon lang naipahinga,
ang isip na pagod at pusong dinusta.
tila iyong pinawi ang mga multong sa akin gumapi
mga problemang sa aking kamalayan piniling mamalagi.
sa piling mo muling naaninag maiilap kong mga ngiti.
mga pagtawang parang bata ay muling namutawi.
labis kong ikinatuwa ang nadamang pagkalinga
na parang idang batang matagal ng nangungulila
para sa taong sa kanya ay mag aaruga,
at sa taong tatapos ng kalungkutang nadarama.
aking pinagpapasalamat na ika'y parte ng aking buhay.
salamat sa pagunawa sa akin at ginawang pagsubaybay.
tinitiis sariling pagod para lang ako ay mahintay,
maging sa aking pagtulog ikaw ang nagbabantay.
hindi mo ako iniwan sa kabila ng lahat
at dahil sayo, puso ko ay muling namulat.
binigyan mo ako ng dahilan na sa mundo muling humarap
at ikaw ang nakikita ko sa masayang hinaharap.
palagi mong tatandaan na anuman ang mangyari
sa loob ng puso ko ika'y habang buhay mananatili.
at kung hihingin ng pagkakataon, landas natin magkalayo,
mananatiling nasa kamay mo ang aking puso...

*and just a note, I got my CORBY back :">

The Haunted

the haunted

I wish I could take it all.
The tears; the pain; the sorrow.
I wish I could make you forget;
that i can undo my mistakes.
No amount of apologies
or tears that were shed
could right what I've done,
for the pain I've inflicted.

After a few lunar cycles
I would bid you farewell.
It will be time for me to fly;
for me to face my fire.
I will brighten your night sky.
Hopefully the passing time
will vanquish my gruesome memory,
and restore the tranquility of your mind.

For no longer i would want
you, with the past, be cognizant.
only I should be shackled
with the horrors I've committed.
But before that time comes,
you must curse my existence.
Abhor every fiber of my being
for towards myself, that's what I'm feeling...

to ruffle some feathers

beneath the somber glow of the hiding moon

and the lonesome seranade of the howling wind

i stared at the vastness of the empty space

the void that was made when you left

with every moment that passes by

all i could see are the tears in your eyes

still i cannot forget the pain i have caused

to that once jovial heart of yours that i broke

no matter how much pain i endure

still i cannot fathom the hurt you feel

and behind the required smile that i put forth

no one will see the distraught soul that is me.

i pray only that you be happy

to find someone who desereves you more than me

for no longer should i be allowed to feel thy care

not even the tiniest morsel, i should be spared.

even the happiest memories we have shared

conjure the tears that i have kept hidden

for i know i will never feel that way again

for i have lost my chance to hold your heart

every night i ask for the elusive slumber

not to rest my weary soul but to remember

to be able to imagine your smile that i havent seen

and to hear your laughter that i havent heard since

but as justice would have it i still was deprived

for only the haunting ghost visits me at night

waking me every chance it gets

reminding me that i should never forget

so badly do i wish that someday i could call you mine

to return to those happy moments of a forgotten time

but as i would know no wishes comes true

for a person so evil other than to be rued...