Sunday, August 30, 2020

Meeting an old friend...

Trigger warning: this contains sensitive topics (suicide, death, depression) that may cause some people discomfort. 


Part I: The penultimate conversation.

Hello, old friend, we meet again.
Sit with me, please, like the old days.
Listen to the words I cannot say;
unburden myself until none remains.

I have forgotten about you for a while.
I was free from memories of the past.
For a minute, I found my reason to smile,
But I was a fool for thinking it would last.

Thank you for coming to see me tonight.
This time, I don't think I will change my mind.
It's different from that night with the knife
where , you watched from the mirror, as I chose life.

This time I am finally ready.
I finally conquered my fear of heights.
It is time I take my final flight.
Until it's over, will you stay tonight?

Part II: Cacophony of an errant mind.

I feel  cold from the rain-soaked floor
as I stood at the edge with my back to the door.
Old friend, will you hold my hand until it's time?
Help pacify this errant mind of mine.

I took a deep breath and looked at your eyes.
Is this finally peace, as you gave a gentle smile?
Years of build up anger, fear and shame
as I let go, my innocence reclaimed.

These few seconds felt like an eternity
Tears surged up dredging buried nemories.
All the lies told every day spent pretending;
the pressures of perfection that became a burden;
the apathy that slowly killed from within;
the love given and was later on forsaken;
the truth of betrayal that shattered me to pieces.
Finally free as I slowly fade from consciousness

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