a salient farewell

at first I planned to stay but a year

but something made me want to stay here

as events varied from erudition

the difference piqued my interest

obsessed with finding a solultion

to issues that seem to obfuscate

with my work, i found myself immersed

every challenges quenched the thirst

but to every journey there's an end

when the need to learn can't be contained

and i'm afraid that i have reached mine

i've decided that now is the time

though i started here not long ago

it still saddens me to have to go

the winds of change have caught up with me

and in a few weeks i'll take my leave

missing ELBI

life has not been easy lately
schedules have been really busy
with too many things going on
what i have been longing for is home

it is great to be back in elbi
breathe in the fresh air and the scenery
visit the same spots i've been before
as if i was back in college once more

at the end of the day i'll return to the city
to work and all the complexities
yet somehow i do not need to worry
for i know that i have a home in elbi

a late introduction

To most I am a stranger
an abstraction from the norm.
To others a loner
always minding my own.
To a few annoyingly clever
knows a little too much in the world.
 What I am is a weaver
creating tapestries with words.
A mere wanderer
passing idly by.
A lonesome observer,
noting the what’s and the why's.

scribbles from 2nd of May...

The light was drained as the door closed
the emptiness readily made its presence known
the stillness in the air and the reverberating silence
have driven any form of thought out of existence
then came a whimpering voice saying NO
forcing itself to cry out DO NOT GO
nothing came out but a short gasp for air
as if being chocked and facing mortal fear
throughout the night silent screams were heard
and unseen tears were continuously shed
the clock kept counting the passing time
it's clicking created an unforgiving rhyme
after some time the light returned
however, the voice can no longer be heard
instead something else was revealed by the light
a body lies there but nobody seems to be inside
an empty vessel almost devoid of life
does not hear anything from the world outside
as if hidden behind walls that fear has fortified




itutuloy...

something work-related ^__^

During my idle hours at the training, I tried to be "productive" by writing.  Not that it makes sense or anything, just something to keep my mind working.  I do not want to turn into those "zombies" that have had their brains sucked out by the industry. *peace*

This is still a work in progress.  Who knows, maybe I can write something worth reading these coming weeks.  Consider this one a very rough draft. ^_^

I will try to attach a pic of a page or two in my planner where I scribbled this down.

Here goes...
We were given the choice when we first started:
to accept the offer or opt for another.
We chose to mark our names on the paper,
and from there we became part of something bigger.
The orientations and the many sessions
have reiterated to us the working notion;
that our career and our future is ours to mold;
that it is up to us on how it will unfold.


We have always been provided opportunities to grow,
to develop our skills and better what we know.
Both skills and talents, in here, are honed
to create high performers to rival the world's.
Trainings are provided for the knowledge we need.
Learnings are made available with just a click.
Various communities and clubs have been established
to foster our different interests and hobbies.


If we think that there is something else more suited for us,
that we are prepared to take on more tasks,
or that we think that we've learned all that we can,
we could opt to be transferred or advance in the game.
To allow the best people in the industry to grow,
we are provided with the tools of the trade.
We are given the opportunity to navigate our own course.
The rest is up to us and the choices that we'll make.

Watcha think? :P

Reckless Abandon

it is almost that time again, when the last leaf is about to fall

at the last gasp of the wind of change, once again, i'll be on my own.

i will be staring at the lonesome moon, begging for the healing rain

for my soul is like the barren land, adorned with scars from all the pain

maybe it is time for the obscured tears to quench this parched soul of mine

for i fear that this would not be mended even by the passing time.

i am afraid that my frail and forgotten heart will never beat again.

for in this world, no value is given to someone who is mundane.

i now question the former decision to leave the place i called home

the chrysalis shrouded in darkness and filled with deafening silence

for inside that shell that to others seemed like a dismal cold prison

is a sanctuary, a haven for a childish man wrought in sorrow

in isolation i found safety, in aloofness my sanctuary

i was free to be myself behind the masks of anonymity

but this is not my realm, and now i must face the harsh reality.

now i am standing. trembling at the thought of what's to happen

for in this apathetic world, what is the value of my existence

i think this is the right time for this phoenix to take his final flight

for the last time take to heavens and brighten this dark starless night.

this adamant shell of mine will be cast to the conflagrating pyre

and no amount of your tears could inundate my sacrificial fire.

from the ashes will rise an empty vessel devoid of emotions

where i will hide myself for no longer would i heed this world's summons

CORBY ^__^

CORBY

* this is not the normal genre i dabble with.
*written @ boston cafe

minsan sa mundo kong madilim may dumamping liwanag.
binigyang pag-asa ang taong malapit nang mabuwag.
sa matagal na panahon, noon lang naipahinga,
ang isip na pagod at pusong dinusta.
tila iyong pinawi ang mga multong sa akin gumapi
mga problemang sa aking kamalayan piniling mamalagi.
sa piling mo muling naaninag maiilap kong mga ngiti.
mga pagtawang parang bata ay muling namutawi.
labis kong ikinatuwa ang nadamang pagkalinga
na parang idang batang matagal ng nangungulila
para sa taong sa kanya ay mag aaruga,
at sa taong tatapos ng kalungkutang nadarama.
aking pinagpapasalamat na ika'y parte ng aking buhay.
salamat sa pagunawa sa akin at ginawang pagsubaybay.
tinitiis sariling pagod para lang ako ay mahintay,
maging sa aking pagtulog ikaw ang nagbabantay.
hindi mo ako iniwan sa kabila ng lahat
at dahil sayo, puso ko ay muling namulat.
binigyan mo ako ng dahilan na sa mundo muling humarap
at ikaw ang nakikita ko sa masayang hinaharap.
palagi mong tatandaan na anuman ang mangyari
sa loob ng puso ko ika'y habang buhay mananatili.
at kung hihingin ng pagkakataon, landas natin magkalayo,
mananatiling nasa kamay mo ang aking puso...

*and just a note, I got my CORBY back :">

The Haunted

the haunted

I wish I could take it all.
The tears; the pain; the sorrow.
I wish I could make you forget;
that i can undo my mistakes.
No amount of apologies
or tears that were shed
could right what I've done,
for the pain I've inflicted.

After a few lunar cycles
I would bid you farewell.
It will be time for me to fly;
for me to face my fire.
I will brighten your night sky.
Hopefully the passing time
will vanquish my gruesome memory,
and restore the tranquility of your mind.

For no longer i would want
you, with the past, be cognizant.
only I should be shackled
with the horrors I've committed.
But before that time comes,
you must curse my existence.
Abhor every fiber of my being
for towards myself, that's what I'm feeling...

to ruffle some feathers

beneath the somber glow of the hiding moon

and the lonesome seranade of the howling wind

i stared at the vastness of the empty space

the void that was made when you left

with every moment that passes by

all i could see are the tears in your eyes

still i cannot forget the pain i have caused

to that once jovial heart of yours that i broke

no matter how much pain i endure

still i cannot fathom the hurt you feel

and behind the required smile that i put forth

no one will see the distraught soul that is me.

i pray only that you be happy

to find someone who desereves you more than me

for no longer should i be allowed to feel thy care

not even the tiniest morsel, i should be spared.

even the happiest memories we have shared

conjure the tears that i have kept hidden

for i know i will never feel that way again

for i have lost my chance to hold your heart

every night i ask for the elusive slumber

not to rest my weary soul but to remember

to be able to imagine your smile that i havent seen

and to hear your laughter that i havent heard since

but as justice would have it i still was deprived

for only the haunting ghost visits me at night

waking me every chance it gets

reminding me that i should never forget

so badly do i wish that someday i could call you mine

to return to those happy moments of a forgotten time

but as i would know no wishes comes true

for a person so evil other than to be rued...

isang pagpupugay

Mahigit isang dekada na din ang nakaraan
ng ang paglisan ang naging tanging paraan,
para mabigyang lunas ang nagaambang kahirapan.
Sariling pangangailangan dagliang kinalimutan,
isinangtabi ang pansariling pangarap at kagustuhan
upang responsibilidad na itaguyod ang pamilya ay mapunan
kahit ang naging kapalit ay pawang kalungkutan.
Tiniis na malayo sa mga mahal sa buhay.
Hinarap ang lungkot ng walang kaagapay
habang ngiti, sa mga anak, ay patuloyn a ipinakita.
mabibigat na poblema ikinubli at pinasang mag-isa,
inilihim sa mga anak ng sila ay di na mamroblema.
Maraming kaganapan sa kanilang buhay ang hindi nasaksihan.
Isinakripisyo nadin niya maging sariling kalusugan.
Upang mga pangarap para sa mga anak ay maisakatuparan
at mabigyan sila ng magandang kinabukasan.
Ngunit sa kabila ng lahat ng sakripisyong isinaalang-alang,
dumating ang panahon, ang mga anak, hindi s'ya iginalang.
Kanilang nakalimutan na para sa kanila ang ginawang paglisan.
Tanging inisip nila sila ay kinalimutan.
Dahil sa pagiging makasarili, inisip sila ay pinabayaan.
Labis na sakit ang idinulot nito sa kaniya
na naging dahilan ng mga luhang di apigil sa pagpatak.
Ngunit pagunawa at pagmamahal parin ang ipinadama sa kanila.
Umasa nalang na mauunawaan din ng mga anak.

.....

" Sa mga nagdaang panahon na aming naaalala
iyo pong mga kamay ang saamin nagalaga.
Hindi lamang kayo naging ilaw na sa amin ay gumagabay
kayo din ang mga kamay na sa amin ay bumuhay.
Maaaring ikaw po ay hindi malapit sa aming tabi
ngunit dama po namin ang iyong pagmamahal na labis.
Sa mga nagawa naming pagkukulang at pagkakamali
na inyong buong puso na inunawa at inintindi,
humihingi po kami ng taos pusong paumanhin
sa mga sama ng loob na kami ang naging sanhi.
Ipagpatawad mo din po ang mga naging pagsuway,
mga pasigaw na boses at nakataas na kilay.
Gusto po namin na inyong malaman,
na ang mga nangyari ay aming nauunawaan.
Hindi po namin isinisisi sa inyo ang nakaraan
bagkus kami'y nagpapasalamat sa magandang kinabukasan.
Inyo pong tandaan na ni minsan kayo ay di nagkulang.
Kaya wag nyong isipin na kayo ay di naging mabuting magulang.
Panahon na para po kami sa inyo ang mag alaga.
Ipagtatangol sa mga nagiisip na gumawa ng masama.
Mga pangarap n'yo para sa amin ay aming tutuparin
para mga ngiti sa inyo ay makarating.
Maaring hindi madalas naming nasasambit
na mahal namin ang MOMMY naming mabait.
Bagama't di po naririnig sa pamamagitan ng aming mga tinig
hindi kahulugan nito na kami, para sa inyo, ay wlang pag-ibig.
Ikaw po ang aming ina na may pusong malaki,
na sa buong mundo aming ipinagmamalaki.
Mahal na mahal ka po ng tatlo mong anak."